Thankfulness Sweater

Image from Wikipedia.

If I could knit, I'd knit a sweater out of the things I'm thankful for. I'd wear that sweater in all kinds of weather. If it was hot, I'd think of the clean water I have to drink. If it was cold, I'd think of the layers of clothing I have to put under my thankfulness sweater. If I was hungry, I'd think of how thankful I'd be for a healthy body that can metabolize food. If I was hurting, I'd think of the loving people in my life and take their affirming words and actions to wrap around me.

Keeping my mind in a place of thankfulness is often not as easy a putting on a sweater when I'm chilly. In fact there have been some chills this last week that are making it hard to think I'll ever feel warm again. But this image of a thankfulness sweater is one that has captured my imagination - and so I'm beginning to think of doing some knitting. I'll need some directions, some lessons and even a pattern for this thankfulness sweater. But what the finished product of knitting thankfulness, or even trying to get a handle on the process of living in this space; is yet to be seen, heard and witnessed.

I will knit a sweater of thankfulness. Stitch by stitch and thread by thread each thankful thing will add up to be something these eyes need to see and this body needs to wear.

The smell of fresh baked bread...

Image from 123RF

One of my favorite smells in the world is freshly baked bread. When I was little, my family and I lived with a neighbor as my dad was in the process of building our new home. Estella, our neighbor and close family friend, would bake all the time. So, when I got off the bus from school each day, it was a regular occurrence for me to have freshly baked snacks to eat. Sometimes she would make cookies, sometimes apple turn overs, but more often than not, Estella would bake bread.

The smell of the bread would travel through her house and waft out the windows and doors to beacon me inside when I returned home from school. The fragrance of fresh-baked bread led me to a safe, warm, kitchen after a long day at school. My traveling feet found a place to rest in Estella's kitchen. Estella's bread had a way of resetting my heart and mind on good things, even after a hard day.

In the account of Jesus on the road to Emmaus, two of his followers are traveling along the road. They are tired from the journey and sad because they didn't know that Jesus had risen from the grave. The disciples are joined by Jesus, but they don't recognize him.

The road to Emmaus was almost seven miles long. Why do you think his disciples did not recognize him?

Some people think it took so long for them to recognize Jesus, because they had not yet heard of his resurrection. The disciples of Jesus were in a place of sadness and loss. In sad times, it can be hard to see the good things that surround us. Perhaps, after walking with Jesus for a distance, sharing stories of his life and memories together and then sitting down for a meal; allowed the disciples to begin to see some good. In that moment of Jesus breaking bread all their senses communicated the good news that Jesus was with them. Their eyes saw him, their ears heard his voice, and their noses smelled the sweet fragrance of fresh bread. It is only when Jesus was at the table with them, blesses and breaks the bread, that they finally see him for who he is.

Just like the disciples at the beginning of the Emmaus road, we can forget what it's like to be with Jesus. All the sad things can keep us from seeing, hearing and smelling the goodness of God that is always with us. Catching a whiff of fresh baked bread has a way of bringing the good, to comforting and the sweet back into reach of our senses that need his presence and peace.

Jesus walks with us on every road we travel, but our eyes and ears need to be open to be aware of it.

Prayer:
Dear God,
Open our eyes to see You are with us, open our ears to hear You leading us on the path we walk. Help us to be more aware that You are with us in all places and times. May Your presence, peace and love be the bread of our life.
Amen.

Questions to ponder:
Where do I need to see and hear Jesus presence in my life? Where do I see/hear Jesus in my life? How will I take note of or mark that "bread" in my life?

Free Refills?

Not grateful for:

Flu bug that shows up on a day off.
Cold rainy to snowy days throughout spring break.
Dissension rearing its head, after a great team project.
Waiting for restoration.

Grateful for:

Kind words of thanks and encouragement.
Efforts of one to include and respect another.
A project well done.
Knowing restoration in on the way.

Some days I just need to say it like it is. There have been some great things happening in the last week. Wonderful, encouraging and exciting things. Then there have been other things that have been stressing me out and almost getting me down. I know that in the journey of life the downs and ups are not evenly distributed. To those downers I place you into God's hands today and I will leave them there. To those uplifting things, I will name them and speak thanks over them.

Sometimes, you just have to say things as they are and let go a little.
Sometimes, you need to make some room to be filled up by the bread that brings life.
Hold on to the bread.

John 10:10 (New International Version, ©2011)

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The Blessing Challenge

For a little while now, I've been reading 'Life of the Beloved" by H. Nouwen with a group of young adults. Most of our discussion has been centered on embracing the fact and practice of being "Beloved" by God. This last week, we've moved on to the topic of "blessing".

Image from Cathy Jamison Abstract Art.When I think of a blessing, I think of a prayer said before a meal or a night-time "Now I lay me down to sleep...". I learned that the meaning of blessing is benediction and when that word is broken down to it's root meaning it is: Speak/well.

I was challenged in our discussion to consider how much talking would cease if the only speaking we uttered was a blessing, a benediction, or speaking well of self and others at all times. What we hear from others and speak has an incredible impact upon the world. The practice of blessing and affirmation is one that proves to be a great value, especially in light of all the 'other' things that usually fill our ears and mouths.

Mr. Nouwen says knowing we are beloved by God is not enough to keep us on the track that leads to life, it is also necessary to understand and embrace our blessedness in practical ways. He challenges the reader to not only become more aware, jot down and be actively thankful for the blessings in our life; but to take time in solitude, scripture and prayer daily so we are reminded that was are beloved and blessed. He also states that the blessed person can't help but to bless others. Once we truly understand our beloved and blessedness, and we take time with God away from the "other" chatter then we will gain greater ability to bless others.

For years quiet time has been a challenge for me. Each day of my life is not consistent in schedule or duty - so hulling out a quiet time and space can be daunting. However, when I look at quiet time in the framework of blessing, in reading this chapter on blessing, its begun to help shift my perception of the importance and value of quiet-blessing-time. If I desire to be a blessing to others, how can I give something that I don't take time for myself. I don't want to be empty of the ability to speak well of others, so it is necessary for me to allow time for my own quiet blessing time - so I am filled with God's speaking the blessing and beloved identity into me - so then I can speak it to others.

Mark 12:30-31
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”

Taking time for quiet-time or blessing time as I've started to call it, is a very practical way of living out this commandment from Mark. This act of moment-by-moment living into being beloved and blessed is a challenge, but it is much less difficult than trying to live in a world absent of blessing or love. In blessing time - our love for God, others and self is shown in taking time to be filled with something we all are searching for...a blessing.

"Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.
And what you want to give me is love,
unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen."
— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Hold on to ..., let go of...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” M. Twain



This past weekend, I had a chance to look at some old family photos when visiting my Mom and Dad in the Pittsburgh area. It was great to see what we all looked like back then and bask in our shared memories. As I was taking all this in, I began to wonder what my second grade self would think of the adult me. I'd hope that the energetic, imaginative, play all day outside tom-boy girl would not be disappointed with who I was - or worse yet, bored with who she saw. When I was little, the things that were the most important to me were: my family, playing, singing, playing, lunch with my Mom, playing, running around the yard with my dog, playing and well, more playing. I think I can see a pattern here.

Children have the wonderful ability to live in the moment, to experience sorrow and joy, express it and move on. Most likely they move on to more playing. I think there is some wisdom in this way of life. Children don't bottle up, hold back or wait for someday. Children live in today.

Living in the moment prevents us from trying to re-capture something that fits somewhere else. Living in the present frees us to see and be in what is immediately surrounding us.

This last weekend, there was so much I wanted to see and do, and after a few hours in I knew that all my plans were not going to happen. When I stopped pushing the envelope of two days to fit a weeks worth of adventuring in; I allowed some time to be present with my parents, drink some leisurely cups of tea, and have some adventures as well. Being in the present allowed me to look back to that picture of my second-grade self and say, "Yes, we would have a wonderful time together."

Let go of the things that keep you from being able to live and play in your present. This is exactly what second grade you would do - so you should too.

"To grow beyond self-rejection we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God's beloved sons and daughters, and the determination to always live our lives according to this truth." H. Nouwen - Bread for the journey

Emergency Helicopter Reality Check

Least grateful/most grateful

Friday afternoon was rolling into Friday evening and I stopped what I was working on to see I had a missed call and a text message from my best friend on my cell. "CAN YOU CALL ME?" Flashed on the screen and suggested some intensity, since she usually won't text more than a word at a time. She hates texting.

I called and found out her husband had been rushed to the hospital and that she needed a ride to meet him there. I left my work, picked her up and we were to the hospital within an hour. Her husband was very ill, so ill that the doctor decided he needed to be transported immediately to a hospital in the area that specializes in dealing with what was wrong. In an hour of being at the local hospital, he was being moved by helicopter to receive appropriate care. Those few hours of phone calls to my BFF's family and friends, prayers said out loud and in our hearts, hand holding and saying 'I love you', rushed the reality check of life's fragility to the center of my attention.

The wonderful news is that my friend's husband is now stable, and almost unbelievably - will be coming home later today. I am ultimately most grateful for this blessing.

In moments like this, what is most important comes to the surface. In the midst of dire circumstances what matters most isn't how much money you have, what honors or accomplishments you've gained, or what kind of car you drive. What matters most is that you have a friend to be there for; and that your second-hand Stratus is just what's needed to get them where they need to be.

New perspective is lovely and challenging. This moment on Friday held some clarity for some things that had been getting me down.The things or people that I find myself frustrated with - and spend too much time fussing over - probably never give those circumstances a second thought. If they don't consider them important - why do I? Why should I? This is something that needs to change in me.

However, the things and people that are important - like my BFF, her husband and my family - are my comfort and bread. In that moment I knew the precious values of this friendship. In light of this friendship, all the other circumstances are dross.

What I am least grateful is the dross that discourages and distracts, but what I'm most grateful are the dear, precious ones that know we'll answer when they send the message we most need to hear... "You are my bread, too."

Puppies and prayer shawls

Image a following quote from 'Baby animals' blog.

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Sugar (pictured above) is a white boxer puppy. She is deaf and to complicate matters she was left at the door of animal control facility with a broken leg. Fortunately, a vet was in the parking lot in a mobile van used to spay and neuter and took Sugar into his care. If she had crossed the door at animal control, her fate would have been to be put to sleep immediately because of her injury. Sugar made her way to Atlanta Pet Rescue where her injuries were treated, as you can see her cast. Sugar has healed completely and has been adopted since this image was taken.

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This morning as I was leaving a local elementary school, I was greeted by a gangly white with a few black spots boxer puppy. He was very friendly and proceeded to follow me as I walked through the parking lot. He looked very thin, in need and had some abrasions around his feet, ears and mouth. I looked at this shivering puppy at my feet and decided that the least I could do was get him out of the cold and contact the Humane Society. I took a prayer shawl I had in the trunk of my car and wrapped him up in it as he leaned into my arms and chest. Just as I was about to place him all bundled into the passenger seat of my car; I heard someone shout,"PUPPY!".

I stopped short, and shouted back - "Did you loose your dog?" A woman and her child came walking towards me. They had a piece of rope for a leash and said, "Yes, it's our dog." I told the woman I was about the call the Humane Society, because the dog was in rough shape and looked like he needed some care. Se said, " Well, I just got him last night and his litter mates had beat him up."

It seemed to be a weird explanation and I definitely do not think it was the whole story, but what was I going to do? So, I reluctantly unbundled the puppy and handed him back to his owner. He looked at me with his big eyes as if to say, "What on earth do you think you are doing!"

But, as I got into my car, he did go willingly with the woman and her little girl. He didn't look back after she placed the rope collar around his neck. However, I could not stop looking in my rear-view mirror wondering what his life would be like and thinking that I should have left my prayer shawl with him. It was such a cold morning.

People can be a lot like the thin puppy I saw at the school. Sometimes the needs that people have are not as obvious as that dogs were; but in our souls we can be hungry, our litter-mates can do some damage, and our packs can be dodgy.

I wonder if God ever feels about his children as I did driving away this morning: "How far do they have to walk before they can get inside somewhere warm?", " Is someone going to make sure he's ok?", "Is he happy there?", and " "I wish I was more involved his life."

As my story shows, the heart of a person can become attached to a dog very quickly. How much more, then, does G-d love each one of us? I often think G-d gives us contact with children and animals to help remind us of how precious all his creations are.

How have you experienced the chill of life?
How have you been wrapped in warmth, prayer and found by God?

May you always have a prayer shawl ready and may you never hesitate to give it away...

What has been G-d's bread for you today?

Moving out of insanity's neighborhood

Albert Einstein said that Insanity is: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Some times I wish problems would simply disappear. The little Pollyanna in my head will distract me and by nature of the business of life; I am successfully distracted from dealing with what needs to be dealt with. The coming of the new year brings with it a multitude of resolutions for many people. Fill in the blank with whatever resolution has been buzzing about your mind..." This is the year that I will....: loose that weight, quit smoking, take that trip I've been dreaming of, and so on and so on.

I don't mean to come off as sarcastic, but there is a clue (often one I've honestly missed) generally right before the word 'resolution' when people use it and it's "new". In order for a resolution to make an impact, it require some new perspective or motivation. In the last year, there were some issues that kept dogging me that I did not take necessary action on and in the light of the new year I was coming to greatly regret. The detachment and ignoring of this problem was only causing me other avalanches of trouble. So, in the light of this new 2011 my new resolution was to step out into this problem and try to come to a means of solution.
Today, I took a step in that direction.

In Sleeping with Bread's history; we have always shared what the things are that take away and give us life. The other day, I heard a message that challenged me in how I was approaching the less than and more thans of life. By the speakers words, I was encouraged to allow the first steps of the new year to be ones that more surrendered to trusting and walking with God. I was struck by how for so many months, I'd assumed that this problem was one I'd have to deal with on my own. In my fear, I was not allowing God the space to comfort and help me deal with the difficulty. Guess what guys, I was yet again trying to do things on my own.

God has been kneading my heart, in order that I trust him more - even in the places that I sometimes think are are too tough to work out.

So this place of bread baking is one that I pray you will share your stories of kneading and rising, of re-kneading and baking, of waiting and fulfillment. By means of grace, mercy and love; God has moved into all our neighborhoods - its up to us if we are going to open our doors, our lives and our bread to him. The bread for me this New Years week, is to embrace the truth that God always wants to be involved in my life; it's just sometimes - well a lot of the time - I want to have all the kinks worked out before he comes through the door.

Today I took a step out of fear's neighborhood, and moved a little closer to a space of mercy and trust. May you be blessed with lots of kneading and rising with the Baker. He's just waiting for you to open the door -
one step at a time.

How is New Year's Bread for you? Please share your comments - The thing about bread is it's better with community. We all can share in the efforts and struggles of the kneading process as well as savor the taste and smell of just-baked fresh bread.

God's grace and peace to you in 2011!

Advent, a season with Mary: a girl with moxy

An author acquaintance of mine, Enuma Okoro, recently wrote and was published at ABC news weekly inspiration, some thoughts concerning Mary (the mother of Christ) and what kind of person she really must have been. There has always been a great deal of wonder and speculation about Mary, but what I love about what Enuma brings to light is, the attitude of courageous expectation she must have possessed.

In a less-than-best-circumstance, Mary was willing to say - "As you say, so shall it be with me." She considered herself 'blessed', where many would have not. I'm impressed with Mary even more now that I see her as a young woman with "moxy" as a characteristic. Somehow that makes me smile. I'm also challenged to follow the example of Mary in this Advent season, by living in a space of courageous expectation. Courageous because of the ability to be active and impacting even difficult circumstances and expectant because of God's provision - in all times. This is the place I need to live this Advent season.

So, this referral to Enuma's article is my bread for the week. I'm thankful for the humor and new perspective of her words. I hope you like them and that they are bread to you as well. Don't forget, a little moxy is a good thing indeed.

God's Peace,
Tara

Manna for the desert

Image from Spiegel Online International.

What is your manna?
Manna was the food that God provided the Israelites in their
time of wandering in the wilderness. In this account in the gospel
of John, Jesus makes reference to this "manna" or bread that God
provided for his people. Jesus draws the connection for his listeners
of how God provided then and how God was going to provide for
them in Christ himself. The hunger and thirst that Jesus was speaking
of, were not simply the manifestation of physical hunger; but the
deep spiritual need we all have for God.

Blasé Pascal, a French mathematician and philosopher said,
"There is a God shaped vacuume in the heart of every man(person)which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the creator,
made known through Jesus."

When I think of the things that I'm most grateful for in life, they most
often are NOT in the material category. For instance, I may enjoy reading a good
book, but the knowledge I obtain is dearer to me than the tangible item it came
from. In their purist form, the things I'm most thankful for are not really
things at all. I may treasure a song, a painting or a book; but what joy is in it
if there is no one to share them with? Ultimately, the treasure I hold most dear
are the relationships with people!

How much more then, do I treasure the spiritual manna, which is Jesus the Christ? There are no words to express how thankful I am for that relationship.
Without Christ, there would be no manna or treasure - only a hole that could never be
filled, even if all the materials on Earth were placed there. There is a hunger that can only be sated by the manna that is Jesus the Christ, and that manna is the one we
all can place our hope in.

Prayer:
Dear God,
Help us to truly understand how to live a life that is satisfied and nourished
by You. Thank you for providing not only for our physical needs, but those of
our spirit as well. Amen

Jesus the Bread of Life/ John 6:25-35

25 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him,
“Rabbi, when did you get here?”

26 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me,
not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate
the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils,
but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man
will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of
approval.”

28 Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works
God requires?”

29 Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the
one he has sent.”

30 So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we
may see it and believe you? What will you do? 31 Our ancestors
ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them
bread from heaven to eat.’[a]”

32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who
has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who
gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God
is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the
world.”

34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes
to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will
never be thirsty.

I'll be your water

Sometimes our bread is as simple as a cup of water given or received in the name of G-d.
Where did you receive and give refreshment this week?



Words and music by Keb Mo...

Do you ever get worried
And your load is hard to bear
And your life is like a sad sad story
No one nobody really cares

But if you ever need someone to talk to
And if you ever need a helping hand
I'll be your ship out on the ocean
I'll be your water in the desert sand

I've been there I've felt like you do
Feelin' like winter would never turn to spring
And everybody I know has got problems
But there's a solution to everything

And if you ever need someone to talk to
And if you ever need a helping hand
I'll be your ship out on the ocean
I'll be your water in the desert sand

And after you've found your way
You won't owe me nothin'
'Cause you're gonna know that your well
Will never run dry, never run dry

If you ever need someone to talk to
And if you ever need a helping hand
I'll be your ship out, your ship out on the ocean
I'll be your water in the desert sand
I'll be your water
And I will give you shelter
I'll be your water
I will be there for you
I'll be your ship out on the ocean
I'll be your water in the desert sand

Stuck or rising

Liminality has been defined as the threshold of the betwixt or between phase or the middle of a rite of passage. Liminality is a new word to me, but I feel quite familiar with the geography and experience of it. I'd have to say that there seems to me to a great deal of "middle" space in life. There are times that I've looked at these middle spaces with contempt and frustration and occasionally, I've had the wisdom to live and be in that space that seems to be neither a beginning or end.

Truth be told, I think I'm more comfortable with beginnings and endings than I am the middle spaces. The beginnings are filled with expectation,excitement and hope. Endings (the good ones) are filled with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction of reaching a goal. Ultimately though, the middle space is where the lions share of the journey takes place. The middle is where the excitement of a beginning takes shape and leads to the place of connection to each hope and dreams' fulfillment - the end.

There are lots of different individual feelings associated with the middle places. In light of the Sleeping with bread of life, I suppose that the middle place could be seen as the space and time for "raising". Without raising time, bread is not light - fluffy - and satisfying. Without the raising time - life would be flat and without depth. This analogy is one that challenges me to look at the middle spaces of life through a different lens. The resting, waiting, and raising times are necessary for the bread of life to reach it's full potential.

There's nothing as good smelling and tasting as fresh baked bread is there?

What are the spaces of "rising" for you? Are you able to simply rest in those times of liminality or do you want to get busy helping the raising process along. The only problem with touching bread while it's raising is that to falls flat and you have to wait for it to rise all over again. I think I'm beginning to understand that some things are intended to be hands-off - at least for a time.

Patience is a virtue, and one I'm not so good at living into - but just imagine the rich beautiful bread that will be produced, if I just trust God in my liminality by waiting - resting - and allowing it to rise high.

One more thought. We are not alone in the "rising" times - just like this video below states, " I'm stuck in the middle with you!"

G-d is with us in the "rising" time, beckoning us to leave the dough to rise on the stove and sit for a spell to rest with our loving Creator. We can look at this as being stuck or as being given time to grow and rest - knowing G-d is watching over the dough in the kitchen of life.



Let the bread rise...
Let the bread rise...

Pour me out

I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle [one hand on hip], here is my spout [other arm out straight]
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!
[as song ends, lean over and tip arm out like a spout]

I'm a clever teapot, yes it's true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout [switch arm positions and repeat tipping motion]
Just tip me over and pour me out

Here is my simple "tea pot" approach to the meditative meme this week...
What has emptied and filled your cup in the last few days? Had anything steamed you up or become obvious of how you are able to pour into someone life?

Psalm 62:7-9 (New International Version © 2010)

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

Go ahead and sing this little ditty and then tell us about it....

Whole and broken - it's all bread, apples and clay

Image found at Picasa.

This Sunday, I was working with the lesson of the Pharisee and the tax collector for text of my children's message. The general idea of the text is that the proud with be humbled and the humbled will be lifted up. Because the background and context of the text was somewhat fuzzy for my grade school audience, I made a quick comparison to the characters in the story - but stayed with the main thought. So the story goes like this...

Here are two apples. One refuses to be eaten and only wants to sit on the kitchen counter for all to see because it is so beautiful. You can pick it up and admire it shiny red skin and smell its sweet aroma; but you can't eat it. This apple says, "I'm too beautiful to be eaten. My purpose is to sit here and be admired."

The other apple is inside this plastic container and it's all chopped up and ready to be eaten. It say's, "Yes of course, you can have me for a snack; after all I am an apple. If all I did was sit on the counter, I'd go bad over time and be good for nothing - and that would be a waste of a sweet, juicy apple."

Which apple do you think the kids liked? Which apple smelled best when they compared them? Right on, the apple that was chopped up in bite size pieces was the one they liked better. They could greater experience the "wholeness" of the apple that was actually, well broken.

The humble, edible apple was the one they liked and made disappear in the end. I suppose you could say the lesson is: Humility brings people together and helps us find places and ways to serve and share with each other.

This weeks question of wholeness and brokenness is this:
When did I feel most whole? Most fragmented?

In the parable from Sunday, the man that came to worship feeling the most "whole" or "together" is said to go home without feeling justified, where the man who humbly pleas for God's mercy when home justified and whole.

This talk of wholeness and humility is a tough thing to think on, but I would have to say that most of the times I feel I have my life "together" I really don't. Then in the time I know I'm a mess, God seems present in a special way by helping all the pieces of my broken life become a surprisingly sweet aroma.

It's like a line from a song I wrote a while back,
I want so much to fall apart, I'll just fall apart, I'll just fall apart - so You - can put me back together. Will you put me back together?

Prayer:
God there is a mix of brokenness and wholeness in my life. God may the wholeness be there, because you have rebuilt and made it whole; as for the brokenness - may you break away the pride that keeps me apart from You and the people around me. I know I am a clay pot - but may this clay pot become something beautiful because of how it functions and the Craftsman that make and re-makes it every day.

2 Corinthians:5-7
For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"[a]made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

Broken and whole; it's all bread. Thank you for sharing your bread here.
Tara

Theres no place like PTS

Nope I'm not talking about being in the pits today, I'm talking about PTS as in Princeton Theological Seminary. Specifically the Certificate in Youth Ministry program. It's not that I'm trying to sell you on the program, even if I do happen to do that, what I'm trying to express and encourage you to consider today is this meme question: "Where do I have the greatest sense of and least sense of belonging?"

On Saturday, my husband, myself and two youth volunteers went to a one day intensive in Cleveland, Ohio that featured key note speaker Mark DeVries, and session leaders Becky Hart and Neil Myer. This day was a condensed version of what I experienced in April when I attended my Certificate retreat and Forum week on Campus at Princeton Seminary. If you are looking for a means of continuing education in the field of youth ministry, I'd insist you take a look at the program; but if you are simply looking for some "bread: for your Monday Sleeping with Bread - I have a point here as well.

On Saturday, when I arrived in Cleveland and saw some the faces of the peers from my cohort, I was washed over with memories of that week this April and a great sense of belonging. It was wonderful to introduce my peers to my husband, and for him also to be welcomed and loved right along with me. In the past seven months vocationally on a day to day basis, I've be feeling a little on my own. Having this day, and knowing there are more upcoming opportunities to be in that community, was uplifting to my heart. I'm so grateful to God for this gift of belonging bread.



So, how about you? In the last week or so, where have you felt least and most on the belonging? How has God tapped you on the shoulder to say, "See, I do love you an understand what you need." Where are you still needing a sense of belonging - or have you already found it?

On Saturday, there was no place like PTS because it felt like home - and that home was bread enough for me.

Animal crackers in my soup - SWB is BACK!

It's been too long since I've posted the Monday Sleeping with Bread Meme prompt. Life has been rather hectic lately, but I've missed our 'bread' conversations - so I thought I'd try to get things baking here again. Thanks for your patience.

I was on my day off today, and to be honest there's been a little too much candle burning on both ends - so I'm home with the sniffles. Nothing big, but it was a good rainy day for some rest, hot honey tea and animal crackers. It's funny how these frosting and sprinkle covered animals reminded me of the good bread in the midst of my stuffy head. They were sweet, so I could taste them even in my stuffy state; and in that they are so like the presence and blessings of God even in the muck and mess of life.

Imagine a drinking bowl of steaming hot chicken noodle soup on a cold rainy day. Taste the oyster crackers and slurp up all the noodles with determination. Even when the circumstances are not their best, a bowl of hot soup - with crackers - can be wonderful medicine indeed!

Since I'd like to get your input here and have this Monday meme be very interactive, I'll keep this prompt short.

What are you most and least grateful for in this last week?
How did you experience God placing animal and oyster crackers in your soup bowl of life?

I'll leave my most and leasts below this video of Shirley Temple clip - it was too cute not to add to our topic today. :)
Peace and Animal Crackers -
Tara



Least grateful:
For not knowing how to shift from summer to fall in my head and allowing my body to accommodate the change.
Learning how to balance additional groups with the fall schedule back in gear.
Stepping into unknown territory of higher ed options for my 12 grade child.
Clutter: Emotional and physical.
Serious health/other problems of extended family and friends.
Discerning answers to some really big questions.
Sniffles.

Most grateful:
Sunny fall days with leaves crunching under my feet.
Celebrating my two year anniversary at my church at the end of this month.
Art shows.
Going to the movies with my husband.
Pizza night with the family.
Taking a whole day off.
re:form nights
Experiencing God's presence and overwhelming love in worship.
A good friend who always has my back.
Team-teaching.
Cell phones for my WHOLE family - feeling much more connected.
Frosted animal crackers.
;)

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This "Sleeping with Bread" Monday Meme, started by Mary-Lue and based off the book by the same name is a place to, just as “the orphans held on to what nourished them and were thus able to sleep peacefully at night, the examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff."

Are you getting enough sleep?

A few years ago, I came upon this video to the song "Sleep" by Riley Armstrong. It's a clever song and the claymation effects in the video are fun, but I think Mr. Armstrong make a good point - " Sleep, I never get enough." How can we hold on to bread (the things that enrich our lives if we don't take the time to reflect, rest and relax?

This call to rest is one I need to heed more and I'm making intentional efforts to improve in this area. To be honest, this "Monday" meme is late due to taking a couple of days to rest and recoup after a very busy August of youth programs and field trips galore. Some of the best places for me to find rest and thoughtfulness can be in writing a blog post, having a lunch and conversation with a friend, playing some music or yes - even just taking a nap. So as you think about the bread of your life this week, I'd like to not only encourage you to write about how you best experience rest, but to actually do it. Take a break, go for a walk, visit the library - go to you favorite section and get lost in it for a while and if you would like to; go take a guilt free nap. I mean it, guilt free!

As the seasons are shifting back to fall, now it the time to fill the remaining free time of late summer days with all the rest and recouping we can manage. May your bread be one more visit to that favorite summer place, and may you actually take the time and go be there!


(Leave a comment if you must, but please take this prompt and go do something fun with the people you love this week - then come back a tell us about what fun you had. Happy last week of August!)

As a bonus - here's another one of Riley's videos for the song "Greater Than". :)

SWB: Swimming lessons

I learned to swim at summer camp when I was a kid. Ben the strong lifeguard, affectionately nicknamed "Big Ben",was there to help me out when I got tired practicing to tread water and venturing out into the deep end of the pool. On one of my early attempts to head to the deep end, I panicked as I suddenly realized I could not longer reach the bottom of the pool. I thrashed and gasped and swallowed what I thought was the entire pools worth in a few moments.

Ben swiftly swam to where I was floundering in the pool, wrapped a strong arm around my waist and towed me safely to the shallow end. What he said to me next had held fast in the memory banks of my brain. "The water can be your enemy or it can be your friend. If you respect and work with the water, it can carry and support you forever."

After he said these words, he suggested I practice floating on the surface of the water. "Pretend there is a string attached to your chest, arch your back and relax into the pool." It took some practice, but by the end of my week at summer camp I was no longer attempting to fight the waves. I was floating all about the pool - shallow and deep end included - and the panic and fear had left my heart.

There are many places and circumstances besides a swimming pool that Ben's words can be of help. Panic, in any case is not a helpful tool in life. The challenges life presents can sometimes press people into a place of panic, but in the end the frantic flailing about does nothing more than cause a ruckus and then scare other's leading them into a place of unrest.

With the children of WW2, loaves of bread were the tool to keep panic at bay. When I was learning to swim, Ben was my non-panicing bread giver.

In the midst of the splashing, sloshing and "oh man, I'm in deep" moments - where did you find calm and rest?

What were your times of treading water, panic and peacefully floating in the presence of the calm or not-so-calm waters this week? Like Ben, for me when I was just learning to swim, who was there to support you along the way this week?

It is in the words, actions and example of these life-guards that our bread is found. Who was your lifeguard this week?

>John 10:10 (New International Version)

10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
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How do you do it?

Sleeping with Bread is a Monday meme. You can participate in one of two ways: 1) Pick one of the above examen question sets and answer it in the comments section of my SWB post; or, 2) Create your own Sleeping with Bread post. You are welcome to right click on the Sleeping with Bread button and save it to your own computer before uploading into your post. Then, make sure you come back and put the link to your post in the automated Mr. Linky form at the end of the current SWB post. I hope you will join me and my fellow bakers as we Sleep with Bread on Mondays!

Dance of joy

The world and time are the dance of the Lord
in emptiness.
The silence of the spheres is the music of
a wedding feast.

The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena
of life,
the more we analyze them out into strange finalities
and complex purposes of our own,
the more we involve ourselves in sadness, absurdity and despair.

But it does not matter much,
because no despair of ours can alter the
reality of things,
or stain the joy of the cosmic dance which is always
there.

Indeed we are in the midst of it,
and it is in the midst of us,
for it beats in our very blood, whether we
want it or not.

Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget
ourselves on purpose,
cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the
general dance.

Excerpt from New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton

Early on Saturday morning, our dear family friend Patrick Moser died suddenly due to complications during heart surgery. Patrick was a unique, amazing, creative person and was a wonderful friend to my husband and I when we moved away from our home town early in our married days. Pat did not have an easy road, in the last several years his health problems made it necessary to retire - even though he had still so much to give to the world.

The reason I mention Patrick in this Sleeping with Bread post is that he had the wonderful ability to make the most out of life. Even more so, he was able to make millions of memories with each person he interacted with. To tell you how much we (my husband and I) loved Pat, when our son was born - we named him Nigel Patrick - in honor of Pat.

There is bread of joy available to us each moment of each day if only we take the time to recognize or help to foster it.

Where can you find joy today?

This week, even in our sorrow and loss - we have many "joyisms" to remember and share with each other thanks to Pat.

These memories of Pat are my bread today - and this bread is rich and abundant with joy!

Thank you Patrick for being such a dear friend and always encouraging us to dance the cosmic dance of joy. We love you.
For more information on Patrick's life go to his obituary here or to his website: Grumpkins.com

Responsible Bread

I've been begun reading the book "The breath of the soul" by Joan Chittister with a group of friends for the last few weeks and have greatly enjoyed the space for spiritual fresh air it's been providing.

The chapters of this book are very short (2-3 pages at most), but Ms. Chittister - like always - fills each page with rich, hopeful and meaningful content. This last week's reading was based on the theme of responsibility in our prayer lives. Sometimes in prayer, I know I can become myopic - only seeing the needs closest to me and often losing sight of the big picture. Ms. Chittister says in her book,

"Prayer is not meant to make us into a world unto ourselves. We do not pray in order to escape the world around us. We pray with one eye on the world so that we can come to understand what is really being asked of us here and now, at times like this, as co-creators of the universe."

There are many ways to get more involved in community and world improving efforts, but sometimes due to the amble needs; it is difficult to sort out just where to step in and assist. The mantra for the devotion on responsibility is : God, give me the grace to "till and keep" the part of the world you have given into my care.

In relation to the bread of this week and reflecting upon responsibility I came upon a common point of focus. I see areas of need and fail to respond due to the sheer quantity of needs within my own limited vision. God's perspective is unbelievably vast, and yet the bread of his love and grace are continually offered individually to me. Humanity is bound in relationship with each other and we are called to care for each other as God cares for us. We need to see the big picture, and not be paralyzed by the multitudes of needs and attend to each small one as it comes to the surface of our particular perspective. It could be something as simple as checking in on an elderly neighbor, asking a friend out to lunch and listening well to their life story, or it could be organizing a neighborhood clean-up. No matter our place in life, we all can find at least one way of helping to restore wholeness.

Our position in responsibility is not a fixed state. Sometimes we are the one giving bread and sometimes we are the one receiving it. Have you been on the receiving end of another person's responsible act? Have you been the giver to someone else? What place is it easier for you to be: giving or receiving?

It is a true reminder by Joan Chittister that, "We must learn to pray with more than ourselves in mind." I'd like to think that when it's all said and done, I will have lived a life that was active in propagating the higher effort of helping to establish more "on earth as it is in heaven". May I remember the bread of help I've received and be motivated to serve and pray with both my eyes wide open for heaven opportunities.



God blessed them and said, "Bear fruit, increase your numbers, and fill the earth - and be responsible for it! Watch over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all living things on the earth!"
Genesis 1:28

How do you do it?

Sleeping with Bread is a Monday meme. You can participate in one of two ways: 1) Pick one of the above examen question sets and answer it in the comments section of my SWB post; or, 2) Create your own Sleeping with Bread post. You are welcome to right click on the Sleeping with Bread button and save it to your own computer before uploading into your post. Then, make sure you come back and put the link to your post in the automated Mr. Linky form at the end of the current SWB post. I hope you will join me and my fellow bakers as we Sleep with Bread on Mondays!