Tuesday, October 13th

I've just missed getting this done while it was still Monday. I was busy, though, getting a portion of my Masters' project ready to turn in to my committee. I had said I would turn it in last Friday and didn't get it done. I reevaluated and said I would get it done by Monday. And I just made it... by one minute! How's that for cutting it close? Hopefully it will be returned with few changes to be made. Now I only have to write that actual thesis portion of the project. (ONLY! Ha!)

It feels good to get something accomplished. I feel like all I do is NOT get things done. Part of that, I have been realizing, is a lot of negative self-talk that I have been engaging in. I've decided that I need to do something about it. As difficult as life legitimately is right now, I am probably making it worse with the Eeyore attitude.

So I am going to take a moment to acknowledge what is difficult and then recognize what is good or what I can do to make things better.

What is difficult:

Sleep apnea therapy is not going well. Trying to function with a serious sleep deficiency is difficult.

Grief hits me when I least expect is. No matter how much I can intellectually understand the process and what it entails, there is no avoiding walking through it.

Stress. Stress from probate issues with both my mom and my dad. Even though there is often nothing going on an any given day, it is always in the back of my mind and that takes up some of my emotional energy.

The Big Bad Masters' Project. With all the above, getting myself to focus and work is very hard. For every hour of productivity, I hate to imagine how many hours of procrastination I engage in.


What is good and what I can do to make things better:


Good -

Although things are perfect, in general, the kids are doing well.

For the last three weeks, most days have found me experiencing at least some success in getting stuff accomplished. Some days it may just be one small thing but its something.

I've had some good support from friends and family.

My sister-in-law and I have been able to get together two weeks in a row to go through a devotional book.

My part -

Recognize that all of the energy I spend in procrastinating could be better used in actually working on my project!

Realize that I just have to take things one day at a time.

Acknowledge that I need help... whether it is asking for help from friends and family, or asking for prayer, or praying myself and asking the Lord for help. Asking for help is a good thing.

Consciously work on getting past the negative self-talk.

I know it won't be easy but I do know that it is possible. I want to include my thanks to all of you here at Sleeping with Bread. You've all been very encouraging to me these last few months. It really has been helpful. Bless you all!



Although the examen is a Christian practice, I would hope that anyone who has something to share would feel welcome here. Also, if you don't have your own blog and would like to participate, share your bread in the comments. To holding on to what gives life,

Mary-LUE